troubled teen...

10.31.2008

i have no idea why i'm feeling this way.
the whole world is falling down on me.
my mental is crushed.
i need a gush,
of blood,
for adrenaline rush.
i feel like killing something,
i feel like devouring things,
i never felt this trapped up before.

and the funny thing is,
i do not know what/why, i'm feeling this way.

i just want a hug.
funny thing is, i had a dream last night.
in the dream, i was a devastated boy.
so much pain even tears would not roll.
then i met this "person", and i just ran towards her to hug her.

den i wake up, feeling devastated.
and the only 1 thing i want now, is a hug.
be it a guy/girl. i just want a hug.
so badly.. i felt like a despo-for-huggies-wannabe.
someone.. any kind soul? willing to let me hug?!

fading away; 12:32 AM

10.22.2008

ineednothingofyou, butonlylovingyousatisfyme

i need to learn.
to grow up!
to be a better man.
my big bro always teach me,
think like a man,
not a boy.
because a man thinks like a man and a boi
but a boi, always think like a boi.

bad points about me:
fat/ugly/stupid/slow/naive/dumb/not a great lover/not a potential man/poor/untalented... etc.

good points about me:
*are there any?*

i got to keep improving,
keep working..
i been working like a whore needs money,
i dun lack cash,
i'm not in debt,
if i'm a little less of a spendthrift,
i might even have savings.
i dunno why..

i have lovers,
i have chicks,
i got friends,
i had dens,
but now i feel i'm alittle lacking of "something"
i wonder what is it?
she?
her?
miss?
mrs?
mdm?
woman?!

he?
Him?
Mister?
*i aint gay*

today i was at this Leica product launch.
for my blogger stalker frd,
if you do not know what is Leica,
its the 1st grade camera's lens in the world.
Very very well known, a history of a 100 years old.
54 yrs of recognition as world 1st class.
well, they have super hot Ah tiong dancers (pretty!).
and 2 pretty hot models, which i was so shy to take a picture with them.

wow, they are hot
really hot. I was having a boner for the whole 2nd session!
Ha lei Luh Yah!

O yah, anyone wanna be my gf? rejected counter : 8 *still counting*

fading away; 11:39 PM